Robot Bartender

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"
The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."
The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had.
The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"
The man answered "oh, about 164."
The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity', 'inter-steller space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs', etc.......
The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact.. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Martini please."
Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"
This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend. The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"?

This time the man drawled out "Uh..... bout 50".

The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked,

"A-r-e y-o-u p-e-o-p-l-e s-t-i-l-l h-a-p-p-y w-i-t-h O-B-A-M-A?

A Lot To Drink About

A Lot to Drink About
by Jimmy Buffett, Mac McAnally, Will Kimbrough

As performed live on February 12, 2009 in Key West, FL

Up on the east side of Manhattan
There still Dancin’ with the stars
While over in sub-prime city
It’s gettin’ angry in the local bars
Watchin’ the news only gives me the blues
There’s too much going wrong
It takes the likes of me to hit the ‘reboot’ key
And write a high speed drinking song
Millionaires losing everything
Hey, welcome to the other side of life
There goes the yacht, There goes the rolls
But, you get to keep your wife
And don’t forget the auto makers
Swimming upstream like a trout
They let the shit hit the fan
Then they got a plan
Hey, we got a lot to drink about

Chorus
There’s the price of oil
The war of the spoils
Where’s your bucket for the big bail out?
Iraq Iran Afghanistan
We’ve got a lot to drink about

Now, Maydolf made off with all the money
Now his clients are down to skunk weed
Repeat after me, it’s so easy to see
Where only talking simple greed
And those Somalian pirates made off with all the gold
While Bush and Cheney ain’t around
And all the good lookers seem to be Czech hookers
From Key West to London town

It’s the price of oil
The war of the spoils
Where’s your bucket for the big bail out?
Iraq Iran Afghanistan
We’ve got a lot to drink about

So pour me some Tennessee Whiskey
Pour me some fine Jamaican Rum
That loudmouth soup gets me kinda looped
Tequilla? of course I’ll have me some!
Now the family devalues
And little children count their net worth
And the truth wherever it’s hidin’
Can’t be found on Google earth
Citibank’s buying jets with our money
I wanna flog them with a buggy whip
I hope Obama and Joe want let the volcano blow
And patch the hole in our sinking ship

It’s the price of oil
The war of the spoils
Here’s your bucket for the big bail out
Iraq Iran Afghanistan
We’ve got a lot to drink about

Recession Depression Aggression Good God
CNN keeps bummin’ me out
I can’t take another doomsday moment
We got a lot to drink, a lot to think
A lot to drink about

Jimmy Buffett Concert Report MGM Grand Garden Arena May 16, 2009

Excellent concert, packed arena, a great setting for the performance. The screen behind the set had various beaches, boats, and sunsets. The new songs were rockin' (Summerzcool, I Feel Like Goin' Surfing in a Hurricane) and A Lot To Drink About is better reporting on the Wall Street crooks than anything on CNBC.

I am proud to say all five of us graduated from Summerzcool with honors.

Song list:

1. Lage Nom Ai

2. School Boy Heart

3. Summzercool

4. It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere (w/Mac)

5. Mañana

6. Conky Tonkin’ (w/Nadirah)

7. Volcano

8. Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes

9. Cheeseburger in Paradise

10. Come Monday (The Beach Band)

11. Son of a Son of a Sailor

12. Brown Eyed Girl

13. One Particular Harbour

14. A Lot to Drink About (Acoustic)

15. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink and I Don’t Love Jesus (Ukulele version)

16. I Heard I was In Town (The Beach Band)

17. Last Mango in Paris

18. I Feel Like Goin’ Surfing in a Hurricane

19. Southern Cross

20. Coast of Carolina

21. Rhumba Man (Jesse Winchester Cover)

22. A Pirate Looks at Forty (Solo)

23. Gypsies in the Palace2

4. Margaritaville

25. Fins

First Encore:

26. We Are the People Our Parents Warned us About

27. Yellow Submarine (Beatles Cover)

Second Encore:

28. Lovely Cruise (Solo)

VIVA Las Vegas PARROTHEADS!!!!!

The Bellagio.... Friday

Cirque du Soleil® weaves an aquatic tapestry of artistry, surrealism and theatrical romance in the timeless production, "O™." The international cast of world-class acrobats, synchronized swimmers, divers and characters perform in, on, and above water to create a breathtaking experience in a magnificent theatre reminiscent of a European opera house.

>>>>> SATURDAY <<<<<<

Fins up Parrotheads, we are goin' to be partying just like Bubba does on a Livingston Saturday Night on the Strip in Vegas!!!





I wish I had a pencil thin mustache.....



I don't know where I'm gonna go when the volcano blows.....



Fins to the left, fins to the right, and your the only bait in town....



I took off for a week-end last month just to try and recall the whole year,
so many places and so many faces, wonderin' where they disappeared.....



Boat drinks, the boys in the band ordered boat drinks......



The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.....



We are the people our parents warned us about.......



There's a cowboy in the jungle, and he looks so out of place, with his shrimpskin boots and his cheap cheroots, and his skin as white as paste.....



There's a woman goin' crazy on Caroline street......





Blew out my flip flop, stepped on pop top,

cut my heel had to cruise on back home,

but there booze in the blender,

and soon it will render,

that frozen concoction that helps me hang on.........

INDISPUTABLE MATH LOGIC

INDISPUTABLE MATHEMATICAL LOGIC (liberals won't understand...... because its logic)
(This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.)

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint... it goes like this:

What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?


Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
are represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W- L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S -S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%


So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while HARD WORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its the BULLSHIT and ASS KISSING that will put you over the TOP!



'REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM'

Breathe In... Breathe Out......Move On

Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On
(Jimmy Buffett/Matt Betton)

I bought a cheap watch from the crazy man
Floating down Canal
It doesn’t use numbers or moving hands
It always just says now
Now you may be thinking that I was had
But this watch is never wrong
And if I have trouble the warranty said
Breathe in, breathe out, move on

And it rained
It was nothing really new
And it blew
We’ve seen all that before
And it poured
The earth began to strain
Pontchartrain Leaking through the door
Tides at war

If a hurricane doesn’t leave you dead
It will make you strong
Don’t try to explain just nod your head
Breathe in, breathe out, move on

And it rained
It was nothing really new
And it blew
We’ve seen all that before
And it poured
The earth began to strain
Ponchartrain Buried the Ninth Ward
To the second floor

According to my watch the time is now
The past is dead and gone
Don’t try to shake it just nod your head
Breathe in, breathe out, move on
Don’t try to explain it just bow your head
Breathe in.......breathe out....... move on

Happy San Jacinto Day

Happy San Jacinto Day......

and don't forget Bunker Hill