WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken and her moose friend, cleaned it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change and he heard her say "We can DO it"Yes !
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road but waited for a call to join them
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that Little chicken and its friend to cross the road. This experience makes me Uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets health care and the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: Hell, we don't know and don't give a damn. We have a Mission Accomplished sign over there and told him to tell them all to "Bring it on!" We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, Or not. Chickens are either against us, or for us. There is no middle Ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Shoot the damned thing and say there were hundreds of them.Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken and moose crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is Your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken and the moose benefits the world now.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about The chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: My TV analysis reveals that the problem we have here is That this chicken doesn't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side Of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems and watching our TV show.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which Is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can tie the moose behind, just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have some reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks; can't you see it now.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hard working American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a moose? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone, of course!
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road with a moose, and that's all there was to it.
ARISTOTLE: It is the in the fundamental nature of chickens to lead mooses across the road.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken and his moose friend really cross The road, or did the road move beneath them?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one, that big brown thing isn't one !
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