Morning on The Woodlands Waterway

Review of Buffet Hotel

Review of Buffet Hotel, Jimmy Buffett’s latest release.

The first new studio album since 2006 Take The Weather With You. If you were part of the Summerzcool Tour live (we enjoyed the concert in Las Vegas since Houston got blown out by Hurricane Ike) or by Radio Margaritaville, several of the songs are already favorites. Summerzcool, A Lot To Drink About, Surfing In A Hurricane, and Rhumba Man were all great concert songs. An excellent album, all Parrotheads should be thrilled and regular civilians who listen are likely to enjoy the songs as well.

The first song on the album, Nobody From Nowhere, is an instantly likeable and familiar sounding song. Jimmy liked the song because it took him back to small town south Alabama of his youth. Anyone from the country can appreciate the lyrics. The song opens with great organ playing by Mr. Uttley and excellent electric guitar riffs. You will be singing the song soon after listening to it 2-3 times.

Big Top is a party song tailor made for us Parrotheads. It opens with “Just like Santa, I come around once a year. Time to break out all of you’re party gear.” And the first refrain is “It’s a big time under the big top. There’s nothing wrong with that. Rhumba-ing in my flip flops. I’m and accessory in front of the pack.” I can’t wait to be dancing to this at next years concert.

Beautiful Swimmers has a slow, lazy melody and superb pedal steel work by Doyle Grisham that makes you want a cold long neck under a neon light. Sounds like it could have be from an 80’s album.

Turn Up The Heat and Chill The Rose kind of reminds me of Party At The End Of The World from Take The Weather With You, except a more reggae beat. Leave to Jimmy to get a good song out of taking rose wine and coffee with him on a trip to Africa.

I have had more than enough formal education, so for all future classes I think I prefer Summerzcool with the JB and the Coral Reefers. “You need to go to Summerzcool. Get to the beach or at least to the pool. Time to go to Summerzcool. Remember what is and is not cool.” Great song for a great tour.

Rhumba Man gives Jim Mayer a chance to showcase his talent on the bass at the start of the song. If this doesn’t get you up on your feet dancing, then you are too old or need another drink. So have a margarita and Rhumba!!

Surfing In A Hurricane combines Jimmy’s love of surfing with a sound that is a cross between the Beach Boys and The Ventures. This could have been a great sound track for a 60’s beach blanket movie. Same comments as above about getting’ you on your feet dancing.


We Learned To Be Cool From You is a slow ballad tribute, with some nice acoustic guitar playing, to those we learned to be cool from. “Maybe I can parlez a little francais. Maybe I can even write a whole page a day. Do a crossword puzzle in a minute or two. But I learned to be cool from you.”

Buffet Hotel reminds me of Far Side Of The World, which since they are both songs about travel to Africa, maybe they should. “Sand in the couscous. Sand in the wine. There was sand in my guitar case. Stories in my mind.” We can be glad the story in his mind made it onto this album. He actually went to Timbuktu and describes Bamako in as the Memphis of West Africa. The Buffet Hotel (pronounced boo-fay).

A Lot To Drink About is a wonderful and topical (and tropical!) song about the current depressed economy and scum bag thief bankers. I think I like the live version from Margaritaville Key West better than the studio version on the album.

“Up on the east side of Manhattan

There still Dancin’ with the stars

While over in sub-prime city

It’s gettin’ angry in the local bars

Watchin’ the news only gives me the blues

There’s too much going wrong

It takes the likes of me to hit the ‘reboot’ key

And write a high speed drinking song

Millionaires losing everything

Hey, welcome to the other side of life

There goes the yacht,

There goes the rolls

But, you get to keep your wife

And don’t forget the auto makers

Swimming upstream like a trout

They let the shit hit the fan

Then they got a plan

Hey, we got a lot to drink about

There’s the price of oil

The war of the spoils

Where’s your bucket for the big bail out?

Iraq Iran Afghanistan

We’ve got a lot to drink about

Now, Maydolf made off with all the money

Now his clients are down to skunk weed

Repeat after me, it’s so easy to see

Where only talking simple greed

And those Somlian pirates made off with all the gold

While Bush and Cheney ain’t around

And all the good lookers seem to be Czech hookers

From Key West to London town

It’s the price of oil

The war of the spoils

Where’s your bucket for the big bail out?

Iraq Iran Afghanistan

We’ve got a lot to drink about

So pour me some Tennessee Whiskey

Pour me some fine Jamaican Rum

That loudmouth soup gets me kinda looped

Tequila? of course I’ll have me some!”

Jimmy and Jane

Buffet Hotel

The new Jimmy Buffett CD arrived in the mail today!!! Title is "Buffet Hotel", a place he saw on a trip to Africa. Some songs from the last tour such as "A Lot To Drink About", "Summerzcool", "Rhumba Man", "Surfin' In A Hurricane".

Sounds good so far. I will listen to all of it on the way to work tomorrow.

College Championship Day Picks

Picks to win today:

Texas Longhorns
Florida Gators
Houston Cougars



BCS Title Game will be Texas versus Florida. Texas by 3 points. McCoy wins the Heisman.


The Aggies will be good next year with the best returning Big 12 QB. If they freshmen and sophomores on defense can start tackling, Aggies have a shot at winning the Big 12 South.

eMooning

eMOONING!!

We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:

:) means a smile and :( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by :-) :-(

Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'

Here goes:

(_!_) regular ass
(__!__) fat ass
(!) tight ass
(_*_) an ass hole
{_!_} swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass
(_j_) Jack Ass

This should about cover what needs to be said!!!

College Football Picks from Home This Week

Back from the far side of the world with some picks for Saturday. I will enjoy watching these games. Last week my entire college football fix was the second half of Rutgers-Army Friday night game viewed Saturday morning in Kazakhstan.

Texas A&M (-7) over Iowa State
Texas (-9) over Oklahoma State
Houston (-6.5) over Southern Miss
Michigan State (-3.5) over Minn
Kansas State (+28) over Oklahoma
Florida (-15) over Georgia

For recreational purposes only.

Amsterdam versus Kazakhstan

They are two very different places. Canals, 300+ years buildings, compact, densely populated, cool, wet, you can hear 10 different languages spoken in a 10 minute walk down the street, bars, pubs, and restaurants on every corner. Drink beer like water.

Flat, brown and tan, clear skies, very cold in winter, very hot in summer, salt dried out on the coastal plain, free range camels, horses, sheep, new construction, most everyone who lives there speaks Russian and Kazakh, three times the size of Texas with 15 million people. Drink vodka like water.

Football Results Comments from Amsterdam

Aggies beat the hell out of Tech, in Lubbock??? Great!!!!

MSU almost beats Iowa, wow.

Amsterdam is quite a contrast to Atyrau. I have not any free range camels here. But I did not see any Dutch girls riding their bikes on a crowded street while talking on a cell phone in Atyrau.

Football Picks from The Far Side Of The World

Live from Atyrau, Kazakhstan, college football picks:

Texas over Missouri
Alabama over Tenn
Florida over Miss State
Texas Tech over A&M (bet the over)
Michigan State over Iowa - my upset special

No guarantee on the picks since I had about 20+ rounds of toasts with vodka and a six hour drive to and from the oil field site. Western Kazakhstan near the Caspian looks like Midland Texas, but with camels and sheep, and not as scenic. Midland also has cattle and horses.

College Football Picks October 17, 2009

Texas A&M over Kansas State
Texas over Oklahoma
Michigan State over Northwestern
Florida over Arkansas
Notre Dame over USC
Texas Tech over Nebraska

College Football Picks Today

Florida over LSU
Texas over Colorado
Texas A&M over Oklahoma State
Michigan State over Illinois

MSU Debate Win at Kentucky

Debate pair wins tournament
Contact: Greta Stahl, Debate, stahlgre@msu.edu
Published: Oct. 09, 2009 E-mail Editor
Related Links· MSU Debate Team


EAST LANSING, Mich. — The Michigan State University debate pair of senior Carly Wunderlich (Brookfield, Wis.) and junior Eric Lanning (The Woodlands, Texas) won first place at the Henry Clay debates at the University of Kentucky, defeating many of the nation’s top teams.
Wunderlich and Lanning’s win marked the first time a team from Michigan State won the event in its 39-year history.

More than 130 debate teams challenged for the championship, including some of the toughest teams from Wake Forest University, the University of Texas-Dallas, Northwestern University, Emory University and the University of California-Berkeley.
The Michigan State pair entered the tournament ranked No. 9 in country, according to the national coaches’ poll. The latest poll will be released on Monday.
“Intercollegiate debate has a ranking system, just like many sporting events,” said Will Repko, MSU’s head debate coach. “After our showing at Kentucky, I think we’re all curious to see where the team lands in the latest poll.”

Cowboys Cut Jerry Jones

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/dallas_cowboys_release_jerry_jones?utm_source=a-section


IRVING, TEXAS—In an attempt to cut the franchise's losses and "move forward in a positive direction," the Dallas Cowboys severed ties with controversial owner Jerry Jones Monday, ending their tumultuous 20-year relationship with the divisive figure.
According to sources within the Cowboys organization, the decision to release Jones was influenced by the lack of any playoff victories in more than 12 years, the owner's distracting sideline antics, and his selfish, "me first" attitude, which many said was having a cancerous effect on the clubhouse.
"We value Jerry's contributions to the Cowboys over the past two decades, but it has become painfully clear that we just don't share the same priorities," Cowboys public relations director Richard Dalrymple said. "This wasn't an easy choice to make, but we're confident it is a decision that can only make our team better."
"Losing to our NFC East rivals the Giants in our brand-new stadium was really the last straw," added Dalrymple, who said Jones "insisted" that the $1.2 billion facility would solve all of the team's problems. "The Cowboys need to focus on winning, and we can't do that with Jerry's incessant ego-boosting publicity stunts, or this opulent sports venue that's devoted more to himself than achieving postseason success."
Cowboys officials called Jones Sunday night to inform him he was being cut from the team, ordering the 66-year-old owner to clean out his luxury box and remove his personal belongings from the premises immediately. Jones, who was reportedly stunned to be removed from his ownership duties, issued a statement on his website thanking himself for all his hard work and years of service.
"Well, damn, looks like the 'Boys couldn't handle Double J anymore," the blog post read in part. "I'll never forget my time in the Big D, and how I single-handedly won three Super Bowls. Don't worry, Jerry Jones will land on his feet somewhere, and when he does, Dallas better watch out."
Jones' questionable conduct on and off the field almost certainly played a role in sealing the troubled owner's fate. Although some members of the Cowboys' management have reportedly contemplated Jones' termination for the past several years, sources said his recent association with known criminals as well as a perceived lack of character and poor leadership qualities provided ample reasons for his release.
Ultimately, team officials said that Jones had become an embarrassment to the storied franchise.
"Between the opportunistic condemnations of game plans, the uninformed evaluations of draftees, and the paranoid delusions that players and coordinators were scheming against him, it's no wonder the Cowboys have had enough," NFL Today commentator Boomer Esiason said. "Maybe his absence will finally give the team a chance to start living up to its full potential."
"Just watching the Cowboys practice without Jones leering at them, you can tell that morale has already greatly improved," Esiason continued. "They seem so loose and relaxed and their faces are just lighting up with smiles. This is the first time Tony Romo has had fun since he put on the Cowboys uniform."
Former Cowboys head coach and Fox Sports analyst Jimmy Johnson speculated that the team's real motivation for cutting Jones was that the aging owner, who turns 67 in October, is well past his prime and would have continued to cost the ball club too much money.
"His skills have really diminished the past few years, and he just can't make the moves that he used to," said Johnson, adding that the rest of the NFL was passing Jones by every day. "When you get older you start to slow down, and as you try to compensate, you wind up making poor decisions."
"He had to eat more than $9 million dollars of salary cap just to get rid of Terrell Owens," Johnson added. "In this economy? What was he thinking?"
Though his publicist would not say whether the former Cowboys owner was entertaining offers from any other teams, an anonymous NFL source told reporters that, immediately after Jones cleared waivers Tuesday, Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis offered him a record-setting three-year $120 million deal.

Spend, Borrow, Print,... Repeat

From Jim Sinclair at JS Mineset http://jsmineset.com/



Jim Sinclair’s Commentary


Look what I found in my email box this evening. I knew Weiss’s father when we both were at 2 Wall Street. Wasn’t the kid a super deflationist?




Dear JAMES,
The U.S. dollar resumed its swan dive overnight, hitting brand-new, one-year lows.
Meanwhile, gold — the world’s ultimate dollar hedge — surged nicely to within an eyelash of its all-time high.
But it should come as no surprise that global investors are beating the dollar like a red-headed stepchild.
After all — they know that U.S. Treasury Chief Timothy Geithner is going panhandling this week — begging and borrowing every penny he can to fund Washington’s precedent-shattering $1.6 trillion budget deficit.
Today, Geithner will rewrite the history books by dumping an all-time record $43 billion in new U.S. Treasuries on the market in a single day.
PLUS, tomorrow and on Friday, Geithner will return to the trough, borrowing an additional $69 billion to keep the lights on in Washington.
That’s a total of $112 billion in U.S. Treasury borrowing in just three, short days!
This is truly alarming: If you’re like me, you can remember a time not too long ago when U.S. Treasury borrowing was less than $112 billion for an entire year. Now, we’re borrowing that much in less than one week!
I wish that was the worst of it. It isn’t: So far this year, Geithner has borrowed a mind-boggling $1.41 TRILLION to fund Washington’s debt addiction — nearly THREE TIMES MORE than the Treasury had borrowed at this time last year.
And still, this is only the beginning: The Congressional Budget Office (CBO) has warned that Obama’s budget will add nearly $10 trillion in new government debt over the next ten years.
If the CBO is correct, our national debt will soar to well over $21 trillion by 2019. That’s more than double the value of all the goods and services our economy now produces in a whole year!
Meanwhile, over at the Federal Reserve, “Helicopter Ben” Bernanke is printing unbacked paper dollars like there’s no tomorrow.
Yesterday alone, in his ongoing attempt to keep Geithner’s precedent-shattering borrowing spree from sending interest rates into the stratosphere, Bernanke had to print more than $4 billion just to BUY treasuries.
THIS is why the U.S. money supply is skyrocketing! THIS is why sophisticated investors worldwide are recoiling in horror.
Protect yourself now or you’ll be kicking yourself later!
The plain truth is, the value of your money — your buying power and your standard of living are being sacrificed on the altar of Washington’s debt addiction.
But if you make the right moves beginning immediately, you still have time to shore up your financial defenses. You can shield yourself, your family and your savings and investments from disaster as this great dollar decline crushes the value of your money.
More than that: There are many ways to harness this historic convulsion to keep your wealth growing.
That’s why I will be presenting a complimentary online seminar entitled “Washington’s Secret War on the Dollar: Protect Yourself and Profit” — in two weeks; on Tuesday, October 6, 2009.
My mission is clear: To help make sure you have the knowledge and the specific recommendations you need to insulate your wealth and to keep it growing as this great dollar disaster unfolds.
This online briefing is absolutely free for you — part of our ongoing commitment to help you sidestep emerging hazards to your wealth and profit no matter what the economy throws at you next.
I’ll give you the clear, concise, unhedged answers to your most pressing questions about this crisis now.
Right off the bat, I’ll give you my shocking update on this great global war on the value of the dollar …
Weiss Research, Inc. 15430 Endeavour Drive Jupiter, FL 33478

And Then The Fight Started...

1. My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started...

2) My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And then the fight started....

3) Saturday morning I got up early to go fishing, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and tip-toed into the garage I hooked up the boat to the truck and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And then the fight started ......



4) I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got outof his car.You know how sometimes you just get so stressed, and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well couldn't believe it... He was a MIDGET!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!! So I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And then the fight started. . . ..


5) My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our up coming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny & sleek that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...



6) When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...


7) After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...



8) My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she started drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

9) I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first."I'll have the strip steak, rare, please."He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...



10) A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....

Secret Message

After the president has been in office for 6 months it is customary for the last president to send a note of congratulations to the new one. So yesterday when the note came from Bush to Obama, the president was somewhat troubled because it was written in code and all it said was:

370H-SSV-0773H

This troubled him as he had always heard from his peers how former president Bush was perceived to have been scholarly challenged. So he took the note to his wife. She was unable to decipher it. They called in the VP, and he was unable to decode the message. They called in the chief of staff and the head of the Secret Service detail and they were unable to determine the meaning of the note. Next he called in the head of the Senate and Speaker of the House. They both were mystified by the meaning of the coded message.

Now there was complete panic in the oval office. They called all of their contacts in the media and sent copies of the note to all of them, and not one was able to come up with an answer. A special emergency meeting was called by the staff. All branches of the military, counter intelligence, CIA, FBI were called in, and the best minds were unable crack the code. After a sleepless night, a now humbled President Obama picked up the phone and called the former president, and asked him the meaning of the note.


Bush chuckled and replied: "You're holding the note upside down!"

A Birthday without a Hurricane

Birthday without a hurricane is quite alright with me. My lovely wife got me some Jimmy Buffett concert DVD's and a DVD player/speaker system. Thanks dear.

Now I am ready to go to Anguilla!!

Robot Bartender

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"
The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."
The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had.
The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"
The man answered "oh, about 164."
The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity', 'inter-steller space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs', etc.......
The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact.. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Martini please."
Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"
This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend. The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"?

This time the man drawled out "Uh..... bout 50".

The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked,

"A-r-e y-o-u p-e-o-p-l-e s-t-i-l-l h-a-p-p-y w-i-t-h O-B-A-M-A?

A Lot To Drink About

A Lot to Drink About
by Jimmy Buffett, Mac McAnally, Will Kimbrough

As performed live on February 12, 2009 in Key West, FL

Up on the east side of Manhattan
There still Dancin’ with the stars
While over in sub-prime city
It’s gettin’ angry in the local bars
Watchin’ the news only gives me the blues
There’s too much going wrong
It takes the likes of me to hit the ‘reboot’ key
And write a high speed drinking song
Millionaires losing everything
Hey, welcome to the other side of life
There goes the yacht, There goes the rolls
But, you get to keep your wife
And don’t forget the auto makers
Swimming upstream like a trout
They let the shit hit the fan
Then they got a plan
Hey, we got a lot to drink about

Chorus
There’s the price of oil
The war of the spoils
Where’s your bucket for the big bail out?
Iraq Iran Afghanistan
We’ve got a lot to drink about

Now, Maydolf made off with all the money
Now his clients are down to skunk weed
Repeat after me, it’s so easy to see
Where only talking simple greed
And those Somalian pirates made off with all the gold
While Bush and Cheney ain’t around
And all the good lookers seem to be Czech hookers
From Key West to London town

It’s the price of oil
The war of the spoils
Where’s your bucket for the big bail out?
Iraq Iran Afghanistan
We’ve got a lot to drink about

So pour me some Tennessee Whiskey
Pour me some fine Jamaican Rum
That loudmouth soup gets me kinda looped
Tequilla? of course I’ll have me some!
Now the family devalues
And little children count their net worth
And the truth wherever it’s hidin’
Can’t be found on Google earth
Citibank’s buying jets with our money
I wanna flog them with a buggy whip
I hope Obama and Joe want let the volcano blow
And patch the hole in our sinking ship

It’s the price of oil
The war of the spoils
Here’s your bucket for the big bail out
Iraq Iran Afghanistan
We’ve got a lot to drink about

Recession Depression Aggression Good God
CNN keeps bummin’ me out
I can’t take another doomsday moment
We got a lot to drink, a lot to think
A lot to drink about

Jimmy Buffett Concert Report MGM Grand Garden Arena May 16, 2009

Excellent concert, packed arena, a great setting for the performance. The screen behind the set had various beaches, boats, and sunsets. The new songs were rockin' (Summerzcool, I Feel Like Goin' Surfing in a Hurricane) and A Lot To Drink About is better reporting on the Wall Street crooks than anything on CNBC.

I am proud to say all five of us graduated from Summerzcool with honors.

Song list:

1. Lage Nom Ai

2. School Boy Heart

3. Summzercool

4. It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere (w/Mac)

5. Mañana

6. Conky Tonkin’ (w/Nadirah)

7. Volcano

8. Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes

9. Cheeseburger in Paradise

10. Come Monday (The Beach Band)

11. Son of a Son of a Sailor

12. Brown Eyed Girl

13. One Particular Harbour

14. A Lot to Drink About (Acoustic)

15. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink and I Don’t Love Jesus (Ukulele version)

16. I Heard I was In Town (The Beach Band)

17. Last Mango in Paris

18. I Feel Like Goin’ Surfing in a Hurricane

19. Southern Cross

20. Coast of Carolina

21. Rhumba Man (Jesse Winchester Cover)

22. A Pirate Looks at Forty (Solo)

23. Gypsies in the Palace2

4. Margaritaville

25. Fins

First Encore:

26. We Are the People Our Parents Warned us About

27. Yellow Submarine (Beatles Cover)

Second Encore:

28. Lovely Cruise (Solo)

VIVA Las Vegas PARROTHEADS!!!!!

The Bellagio.... Friday

Cirque du Soleil® weaves an aquatic tapestry of artistry, surrealism and theatrical romance in the timeless production, "O™." The international cast of world-class acrobats, synchronized swimmers, divers and characters perform in, on, and above water to create a breathtaking experience in a magnificent theatre reminiscent of a European opera house.

>>>>> SATURDAY <<<<<<

Fins up Parrotheads, we are goin' to be partying just like Bubba does on a Livingston Saturday Night on the Strip in Vegas!!!





I wish I had a pencil thin mustache.....



I don't know where I'm gonna go when the volcano blows.....



Fins to the left, fins to the right, and your the only bait in town....



I took off for a week-end last month just to try and recall the whole year,
so many places and so many faces, wonderin' where they disappeared.....



Boat drinks, the boys in the band ordered boat drinks......



The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.....



We are the people our parents warned us about.......



There's a cowboy in the jungle, and he looks so out of place, with his shrimpskin boots and his cheap cheroots, and his skin as white as paste.....



There's a woman goin' crazy on Caroline street......





Blew out my flip flop, stepped on pop top,

cut my heel had to cruise on back home,

but there booze in the blender,

and soon it will render,

that frozen concoction that helps me hang on.........

INDISPUTABLE MATH LOGIC

INDISPUTABLE MATHEMATICAL LOGIC (liberals won't understand...... because its logic)
(This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.)

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint... it goes like this:

What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?


Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
are represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W- L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S -S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%


So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while HARD WORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its the BULLSHIT and ASS KISSING that will put you over the TOP!



'REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM'

Breathe In... Breathe Out......Move On

Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On
(Jimmy Buffett/Matt Betton)

I bought a cheap watch from the crazy man
Floating down Canal
It doesn’t use numbers or moving hands
It always just says now
Now you may be thinking that I was had
But this watch is never wrong
And if I have trouble the warranty said
Breathe in, breathe out, move on

And it rained
It was nothing really new
And it blew
We’ve seen all that before
And it poured
The earth began to strain
Pontchartrain Leaking through the door
Tides at war

If a hurricane doesn’t leave you dead
It will make you strong
Don’t try to explain just nod your head
Breathe in, breathe out, move on

And it rained
It was nothing really new
And it blew
We’ve seen all that before
And it poured
The earth began to strain
Ponchartrain Buried the Ninth Ward
To the second floor

According to my watch the time is now
The past is dead and gone
Don’t try to shake it just nod your head
Breathe in, breathe out, move on
Don’t try to explain it just bow your head
Breathe in.......breathe out....... move on

Happy San Jacinto Day

Happy San Jacinto Day......

and don't forget Bunker Hill

Flags for Today

Blessings To All On This Happy Easter Day

Prayers go out to all of those hurting and in need of physical, emotional, and spiritual healing.


John 3

Jesus Teaches Nicodemus

1 Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council. 2 He came to Jesus at night and said, "Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him."
3 In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again."
4 "How can a man be born when he is old?" Nicodemus asked. "Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb to be born!"
5 Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. 6 Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. 7 You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' 8 The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."
9 "How can this be?" Nicodemus asked.
10 "You are Israel's teacher," said Jesus, "and do you not understand these things? 11 I tell you the truth, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. 12 I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? 13 No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man. 14 Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, 15that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.
16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. 19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

Second Annual Round Top Bluebonnet Excursion

Yesterday we took a road trip through Washington County, Chapell Hill, and Brenham to the thriving metropolis of Round Top, Texas, population 81. We arrived in town at about 11:15 am, just in time to get a table for lunch at Royers Round Top Cafe. They serve good burgers, salads, chicken and steak sandwiches, but, most of all, the have some of the best pies you have ever eaten. We were too full to eat the piece of peach pie there, but got it to go, even though the menu clearly states there is a 50 cent penalty for NOT having a scoop of Blue Bell ice cream on your pie (it would have melted in the car). If you get a chance, drive up to Round Top, look at the wildflowers, historic buildings and shops, and get there early for lunch (bring cash, no credit cards) and leave room for pie (in your stomach or car).

Bud the Pie Man!

Sparty On

Michigan State Spartans kick U-con butt!!!

Car of the Future

Key West Now

Live from Duval Street in Key West

How To Hyperlink

Visit W3Schools!

Gun Safety

Jeff Cooper's Rules of Gun Safety

RULE I: ALL GUNS ARE ALWAYS LOADED
RULE II: NEVER LET THE MUZZLE COVER ANYTHING YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO DESTROY
RULE III: KEEP YOUR FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER UNTIL YOUR SIGHTS ARE ON THE TARGET
RULE IV: BE SURE OF YOUR TARGET

RULE I: ALL GUNS ARE ALWAYS LOADED
There are no exceptions. Do not pretend that this is true. Some people and organizations take this rule and weaken it;e.g. "Treat all guns as if they were loaded." Unfortunately, the "as if" compromises the directness of the statement by implying that they are unloaded, but we will treat them as though they are loaded. No good! Safety rules must be worded forcefully so that they are never treated lightly or reduced to partial compliance.
All guns are always loaded - period!
This must be your mind-set. If someone hands you a firearm and says, "Don't worry, it's not loaded," you do not dare believe him. You need not be impolite, but check it yourself. Remember, there are no accidents, only negligent acts. Check it. Do not let yourself fall prey to a situation where you might feel compelled to squeal, "I didn't know it was loaded!"

RULE II: NEVER LET THE MUZZLE COVER ANYTHING YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO DESTROY
Conspicuously and continuously violated, especially with pistols, Rule II applies whether you are involved in range practice, daily carry, or examination. If the weapon is assembled and in someone's hands, it is capable of being discharged. A firearm holstered properly, lying on a table, or placed in a scabbard is of no danger to anyone. Only when handled is there a need for concern. This rule applies to fighting as well as to daily handling. If you are not willing to take a human life, do not cover a person with the muzzle. This rule also applies to your own person. Do not allow the muzzle to cover your extremities, e.g. using both hands to reholster the pistol. This practice is unsound, both procedurally and tactically. You may need a free hand for something important. Proper holster design should provide for one-handed holstering, so avoid holsters which collapse after withdrawing the pistol. (Note: It is dangerous to push the muzzle against the inside edge of the holster nearest the body to "open" it since this results in your pointing the pistol at your midsection.) Dry-practice in the home is a worthwhile habit and it will result in more deeply programmed reflexes. Most of the reflexes involved in the Modern Technique do not require that a shot be fired. Particular procedures for dry-firing in the home will be covered later. Let it suffice for now that you do not dry-fire using a "target" that you wish not to see destroyed. (Recall RULE I as well.)

Rule III: KEEP YOUR FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER UNTIL YOUR SIGHTS ARE ON THE TARGET
Rule III is violated most anytime the uneducated person handles a firearm. Whether on TV, in the theaters, or at the range, people seem fascinated with having their finger on the trigger. Never stand or walk around with your finger on the trigger. It is unprofessional, dangerous, and, perhaps most damaging to the psyche, it is klutzy looking. Never fire a shot unless the sights are superimposed on the target and you have made a conscious decision to fire. Firing an unaligned pistol in a fight gains nothing. If you believe that the defensive pistol is only an intimidation tool - not something to be used - carry blanks, or better yet, reevaluate having one around. If you are going to launch a projectile, it had best be directed purposely. Danger abounds if you allow your finger to dawdle inside the trigger guard. As soon as the sights leave the target, the trigger-finger leaves the trigger and straightens alongside the frame. Since the hand normally prefers to work as a unit - as in grasping - separating the function of the trigger-finger from the rest of the hand takes effort. The five-finger grasp is a deeply programmed reflex. Under sufficient stress, and with the finger already placed on the trigger, an unexpected movement, misstep or surprise could result in a negligent discharge. Speed cannot be gained from such a premature placement of the trigger-finger. Bringing the sights to bear on the target, whether from the holster or the Guard Position, takes more time than that required for moving the trigger finger an inch or so to the trigger.

RULE IV: BE SURE OF YOUR TARGET
Know what it is, what is in line with it, and what is behind it. Never shoot at anything you have not positively identified. Be aware of your surroundings, whether on the range or in a fight. Do not assume anything. Know what you are doing.

Remember The Alamo

I visited the Alamo last week. It is always good to be in a place where brave men gave everything for liberty.

Smile!!!

Three dead bodies turned up at the mortuary -- all with very big smiles on their faces.

The coroner called the police to tell them what had happened. The Coroner told the Inspector, "The first body is a 72 year old Frenchman. He died of heart failure, while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile."

"The second body is an Irishman, 25 years of age. He won a thousand dollars on the lottery and spent it all on whisky. He died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

"Ah," said the coroner, "The third is the most unusual body. It's the 66 year-old Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House. She was struck by lightning."
"Why was she smiling then?" inquired the Inspector.


"She thought she was having her picture taken."

Jimmy Collection Complete

With the arrival today of Down To Earth, High Cumberland Jubilee, and Take The Weather With You, I now have a complete collection of all Jimmy Buffett original release albums.

Guess Who I Am

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?' Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers; 'Sure, Why not?

'The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany Within mere seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data is stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.' 'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?'! The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?' 'You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government', says Bud. 'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?' 'No guessing required.', answered the cowboy.

'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. . . .Now give me back my dog.

An Armed Society Is A Polite Society

"The society of late twentieth century America is perhaps the first in human history where most grown men do not routinely bear arms on their persons and boys are not regularly raised from childhood to learn skill in the use of some kind of weapon, either for community or personal defense - club or spear, broadsword or long bow, rifle or Bowie knife. It also happens to be one of the rudest and crudest societies in history, having jubilantly swept most of the etiquette of speech, table, dress, hospitality, fairness, deference to authority and the relations of male and female and child and elder under the fraying and filthy carpet of politically convenient illusions. With little fear of physical reprisal Americans can be as loud, gross, disrespectful, pushy, and negligent as they please. If more people carried rapiers at their belts, or revolvers on their hips, It is a fair bet you would be able to go to a movie and enjoy he dialogue from the screen without having to endure the small talk, family gossip and assorted bodily noises that many theater audiences these days regularly emit. Today, discourtesy is commonplace precisely because there is no price to pay for it."

Samuel Francis


As Heinlein put it,
"An armed society is a polite society."

Thomas Jefferson Quotes

Thomas Jefferson’s Best Quotes

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

Every generation needs a new revolution.

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.

Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies.

I own that I am not a friend to a very energetic government. It is always oppressive. I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.

For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so, a well-organized and armed militia is their best security.

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.

The beauty of the second amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it.

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.

Family and Friends

No one knows how long you will be visiting here on Earth before we get to go home. It is always a good time to talk to your friends and tell them how much they mean to you. Tell your wife and kids you love them. Call your Mom and Dad.

Quote

"The very first, most important rule of gunfighting is this: have a gun. If you do not have a gun, do not come to the gunfight." - Mark Moritz

Summerz Cool Tour 2009

We can blame Hurricane Ike for no show in Houston, but if Jimmy ain't comin' to Houston, this Parrothead will hit the road and catch Jimmy in Vegas!!

Wouldn't it be really cool to go to the Honolulu concert?

02.24.09
MAUI ARTS AND CULTURAL CENTERMaui, HI

Tickets on sale 01/31 at 10:00am.

02.28.09
WAIKIKI SHELLHonolulu, HI
Tickets on sale 01/31 at 9:00am.

04.16.09
LAKEWOOD AMPHITHEATREAtlanta, GA2002 Lakewood Ave SE, Atlanta, GA

Tickets on sale 02/07 at 10:00am.

04.18.09
PIZZA HUT PARKDallas, TX9200 World Cup Way, Frisco, TX 75034

Tickets on sale 02/09 at 10:00am.

04.21.09
VERIZON WIRELESS AMPHITHEATRECharlotte, NC

Tickets on sale 01/31 at 10:00am.
04.23.09

TWC MUSIC PAVILION AT WALNUT CREEKRaleigh, NC

Tickets on sale 01/31 at 10:00am.

04.25.09

FORD AMPHITHEATRETampa, FL4802 US 301 North, Tampa, FL 33610

Tickets on sale 02/07 at 10:00am.

05.14.09
CRICKET WIRELESS PAVILIONPhoenix, AZ2121 North 83rd Ave., Phoenix, AZ

Tickets on sale 02/09 at 10:00am.

05.16.09
MGM GRAND GARDEN ARENALas Vegas, NV3799 Las Vegas Blvd So., Las Vegas, NV 89109

Tickets on sale 02/09 at 10:00am.

05.19.09
SLEEP TRAIN PAVILLIONConcord, CA2000 Kirker Pass Rd, Concord, CA 94521

Tickets on sale 02/09 at 10:00am.

05.21.09
VERIZON WIRELESS AMPHITHEATERIrvine, CA8808 Irvine Center Dr, Irvine, CA 92618

Tickets on sale 02/09 at 10:00am.

06.18.09
SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTERCamden, NJ1 Harbour Blvd, Camden, NJ 08103

Tickets on sale 02/09 at 10:00am.

06.20.09
SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTERCamden, NJ1 Harbour Blvd, Camden, NJ 08103

Tickets on sale 02/09 at 10:00am.

06.23.09
POST-GAZETTE PAVILIONPittsburgh, PAPO Box 431, Rt. 18 at Rt. 22, Burgettstown, PA 15021

Tickets on sale 02/09 at 10:00am.

06.25.09
COMCAST CENTERMansfield, MA885 South Main Street, Mansfield, MA 02048

Tickets on sale 02/07 at 10:00am.

06.27.09
COMCAST CENTERMansfield, MA885 South Main Street, Mansfield, MA 02048

Tickets on sale 02/07 at 10:00am.

08.06.09
RIVERBEND MUSIC CENTERCincinnati, OH6295 Kellogg Avenue, Cincinnati, OH 45228

Tickets on sale 02/07 at 10:00am.

08.08.09
TOYOTA PARK Bridgeview, IL7300 W. 71st St., Bridgeview, IL 60455

Tickets on sale 02/09 at 10:00am.

08.11.09
VERIZON WIRELESS MUSIC CENTERNoblesville, IN12880 e. 146th st., Noblesville, IN 46060

Tickets on sale 02/09 at 10:00am.

08.13.09
DTE ENERGY MUSIC THEATREDetroit, MI

Tickets on sale 01/31 at 10:00am.

08.15.09
TOYOTA PARK Bridgeview, IL7300 W. 71st St., Bridgeview, IL 60455

Tickets on sale 02/09 at 10:00am.

08.23.09
BOARDWALK HALLAtlantic City, NJ2301 Boardwalk, Atlantic City, NJ 08401

On-sale date TBD.

08.26.09
NIKON AT JONES BEACH THEATREWantagh, NYJones Beach State Park, Wantaugh, NY 11793

On-sale date TBD.

08.29.09
ALPINE VALLEY MUSIC THEATEREast Troy, WI2699 Hwy D, East Troy, WI 53120

On-sale date TBD.

09.03.09
NISSAN PAVILIONBristow, VA7800 Cellar Door Drive, Bristow, VA 20136

On-sale date TBD.

09.05.09
NISSAN PAVILIONBristow, VA7800 Cellar Door Drive, Bristow, VA 20136

On-sale date TBD.

10.15.09
CRICKET WIRELESS AMPHITHEATREChula Vista, CA2050 Entertainment Circle, Chula Vista, CA 91911

On-sale date TBD.

10.17.09
MGM GRAND GARDEN ARENALas Vegas, NV3799 Las Vegas Blvd So., Las Vegas, NV 89109

On-sale date TBD.

10.21.09
KEY ARENA AT SEATTLE CENTERSeattle, WA305 Harrison St, Seattle, WA 98109

On-sale date TBD.

10.24.09
MGM GRAND GARDEN ARENALas Vegas, NV3799 Las Vegas Blvd So., Las Vegas, NV 89109

On-sale date TBD.

Still Having A Bad Day???

Things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am , regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper , entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Still Having a Bad Day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Are Ya OK Now? - No?

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!
There now, Feeling Better?

Hog Day Afternoon

No, this is not Obama's stimulus "pork" package dead on the road (but it should be). Three javelinas near Coldspring, TX were being feasted on by 15-20 buzzards as we came by. I don't know who hit them, but I am glad it was not my car because at around 60-70 pounds each it would have put a good dent in your bumper or fender.

Superbowl Pick

Cardinals 24, Steelers 20

As a long time Cowboy and former Oiler fan there is no way I can ever take the Steelers side in a game.

Oil, A Bargain Now, Going Higher......

http://www.financialsense.com/stormwatch/update.html

"There are 70,000 oilfields in production worldwide; however, the bulk of our production comes from 20 super-giant oilfields, which account for over 25% of daily world production. Of even more concern, the vast majority of these fields were discovered 50–70 years ago.
In addition to the dearth of new discoveries, depletion rates are rising as old fields mature and decline. Remember, newer discoveries over the last two decades have been fewer and smaller, and many of them have been offshore. Smaller oilfields and offshore oilfields deplete at much faster rates than some of the "old giants."
In its latest World Energy Outlook, the International Energy Agency (IEA) estimated that the average observed decline rate worldwide is currently 6.7%, and is projected to increase to 8.6% by 2030. Decline rates for the super-giants are 3.4%, 6.5% for giant oilfields, and 10.4% for large fields. Moreover, natural decline rates (a natural decline rate strips out ongoing investment in new production) are estimated at 9% for post-peak fields."

Jim Puplava, Financial Sense

Not A Good Day

I will keep my money, guns and freedom. You keep the change.

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the Store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking, and help with the housework."Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men here. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

A new wives store opened across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

Florida Wins

"You don't tug on Supermans cape,
You don't spit into the wind,
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger,
And you don't mess around with... Tim.... Tebow that is"


As I called it on December 7, 2008, Florida Gators soundly beat that group of turncoat Texans known as the Oklahoma Sooners. How is big game Bob doin' now? He does have his team in a lot of big games, he just does not win many.

Parrothead Al's Official College Football Final Top Five are:


1. Florida
2. Texas
3. Utah
4. USC
5. Oklahoma

Soldier dies after bar fight over Jimmy Buffett song in Steamboat

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2009/jan/05/man-dies-after-fight-over-jukebox-selection-steamb/

Soldier dies after bar fight over Jimmy Buffett song in Steamboat
By Tillie Fong, Rocky Mountain News
Published January 5, 2009 at 4:36 p.m.
A soldier from Fort Bragg died this morning in Denver from injuries suffered from a bar fight in Steamboat Springs on Friday night over a Jimmy Buffett song.
Richard Lopez, 37, of Fayetteville, N.C., was pronounced dead at 4:16 a.m. today at Denver Health Medical Center. An autopsy by the Arapahoe County Coroner's office is scheduled for Tuesday.
"This is a very sad and serious case," said Capt. Joel Rae with Steamboat Springs police.
So far, no suspects have been arrested, although police have talked to two individuals involved in the fight.
"We know where they are and they have been interviewed," said Rae.
The case is being investigated as a homicide.
The incident occurred before 12:15 a.m. Friday when police were called to a fight between five people outside the Tap House.
"The initial disagreement was about music being played on the jukebox," said Rae, adding that it was a Jimmy Buffet song.
"Richard Lopez and two other individuals put on the song, but two other individuals did not agree with it."
It was not known which Jimmy Buffett song was being played at the time, but the fight was taken outside the bar.
By the time officers arrived on scene, the fight was over and Lopez was on the ground at Lincoln Avenue and Seventh Street.
Two of Lopez's friends, who were not identified by police but are from Steamboat Springs, were also injured in the fight.
Lopez was initially taken to Yampa Valley Medical Center, but later airlifted to Denver Health Medical Center.
Lopez's friends, identified by the Steamboat Pilot as Timothy Mottlau of Norfolk, Va., and Wesley Mottlau, of Fayetteville, N.C., were taken to the hospital with cuts and bruises.
Calls to the Mottlau's home in Steamboat Springs were not returned today.
Rae said that all three were on leave from the military - Lopez and one of his friends were with the Army, while the other friend was in the Navy.
A call to Fort Bragg indicated that Lopez was part of a special forces unit. More details were not available about his service.